It's Not That I Can't, It's Because I Shouldn't

I enjoy singing. And that's, well, it's a bit of an understatement. I sing all the time, almost anywhere...but not this week. I haven't sang since Saturday. I could easily let this drive me crazy, but I refuse to. It's tough not doing what you like to do; it's even tougher when it's a gift and passion that God has given you.

You see, this past weekend I was involved in a drama our church hosted called "Heaven's Gates and Hell's Flames" from Reality Outreach Ministries, Inc. In this drama, I played a drunk in a bar whose 2 sisters tried to get her to go home with them; she'd already driven home drunk way too many times. One sister had a relationship with Christ and kept praying for her and telling her about Jesus--how He could change her life and clean up the mess she had made by her drinking and gambling addictions. The drunk refused help, left the bar, and was killed when she wrecked her car. The drunk went to Hell.

So, after acting like and talking like a drunk for 4 days, and getting in a car crash and going to Hell and back 6 times, my voice was almost gone. Yesterday and today it's been about 75%. On Sunday and Monday I pretty much wasn't allowed to talk in order to save my voice for the ministry "performances" each of those nights. After Monday night, well, I've been talking since then. But not singing. It's not that I can't sing, though. Okay, so it may not sound all that great yet, but I can still sing. However, I'm not singing because I shouldn't yet. (And Karen would possibly slap me if she heard of me singing before my voice is 100%.) If I sing now when my voice is not fully healed, then I could further damage it, or it may just take longer to heal. Normally I wouldn't really think about it, but I'm on set for back-up vocals for praise and worship at church on Sunday. (I'm backing up Karen, and that's why she would slap me if I'd sing now. Ha!) So, since I shouldn't sing yet, I'm not. And it's not easy, let me tell ya.

This is not the first time I've been in this position of  "it's not that I can't, it's because I shouldn't". In middle school I lost my voice during the week of our Spring Show. No talking or singing (even during dress rehearsal) until show time that week.

Then there was high school, when I purposely didn't audition to be in our show choir junior year because I knew it wasn't time. It wasn't that I couldn't audition, because I probably would have made it, but it was because I shouldn't audition--my King told me it wasn't the right time. That was really tough. Every time that choir performed my junior year, I almost cried. Yet, my King wanted me to wait until my senior year to be in that choir. And I lived out a dream during my senior year of high school.

Now, let's go back to the drunk in the bar scene. Since she could still drink, she did. Since she still had the keys, car, and ability (although altered and impaired) to drive, she did. The only thing that would have stopped her from gambling or drinking or driving would have been if she could not do them. But she could, so she did.

Do we just not do some things because we can't? Well, yes, we do. However, sometimes it's more because we shouldn't. Sometimes we shouldn't because we could get hurt. Sometimes we shouldn't because it's not time. Sometimes we shouldn't because it could cause someone else to stumble. Sometimes we shouldn't because it would be bragging. Sometimes we shouldn't because we don't really have the means. Sometimes we shouldn't because God has something better.

Sometimes we shouldn't because it's sin. And it's not because we can't; it's because we shouldn't.

God gives us the ability to choose to sin or not to sin. And, many times we sin because we can.

However, I want to choose not to sin--not because I can't sin, but because I shouldn't. I want to honor King Jesus with every word that I speak and every thing that I do. And this is not only because I should; it's because I can.