I'm so amazed right now because of what all has happened in the past week.(You may want to skip Thursday's if you have a weak stomach or cry easily.)
- Wednesday evening during church, I found out that our church's choir may have the opportunity to go to the Dominican Republic for a missions trip. My first thought when I heard my pastor say that was, "Do you need chaperons?" That thought was partly a joke because right now there's no one in our choir who needs a chaperon, and I wasn't part of the choir. However, I've been to the D.R. on a missions trip before (2007) and I want to go back. Also, I'd been in the choir during the summer of 2003, but hadn't been able to jump back in due to many things. So, that night I began praying, "Lord, I want to go back to the D.R. Can I go back? Can we go? Can I? I want to jump in with both feet, but I don't want to put more on my plate unless You say it's okay." In addition, our family dog, Snuggles, was not doing well. I mentioned about the seizures in my previous post, and she'd been doing okay until a few days before this. Snuggles hadn't been eating or drinking for about 4 days and it wasn't looking good. I went to bed with some questions:
- The Bible says not to kill--not to intentionally murder. What's the difference between euthanasia for animals or euthanasia for people? When "putting and animal down", people do it so the animal won't suffer. Isn't that what people say about euthanasia for humans? Either way, we're still killing them. Lord, please take Snuggles peacefully when it's her time. I don't want to kill her by "putting her down". Yes, I know there is a difference between humans and animals. For one, humans are made in the image of God. But, still.
- Since the Bible says not to kill, then what's the difference between killing a mosquito or killing a person? Yes, the Bible says God's given us animals for food, but if we're intentionally killing something that we're not going to use for food, then aren't we breaking God's command? That is, unless it's in self-defense or cannot be avoided? I've killed many bugs, as well as a mole or two and a groundhog/woodchuck. Did I want to? The bugs, yes. The groundhog, no. The moles, not really. And when it comes to bugs, I don't kill most of them. Mainly just mosquitoes, flies, some spiders, and gnats. Yet, who am I to choose? Who am I to kill what God created?
- Thursday morning, Mom woke me up about 20 minutes earlier than normal, around 7:10 am, because Snuggles was dying. I quickly got dressed and was with her during her final few minutes. I covered her with an old blanket, tried to tuck her legs in as best as I could knowing she'd be stiff soon, tried to close her eyes, and put her in the garage. The kids hadn't left for school yet, but only two of the older ones knew what was going on (one was crying a bit, so we had to make her laugh before the bus came). During the course of the rest of the day, I took Snuggles' collar off, I went with my dad to my aunt and uncle's to help bury her in the family doggie graveyard (there are 4 dogs there now). And, being who I am, when taking off Snuggles' collar, I poked her in various places amazed at how quickly rigor mortis set in. During much of the day one though kept going through my head: "I'm going back to the D.R. I may be going back to the Dominican Republic soon." I went to bed with more questions:
- Lord, why did you create rigor mortis? What's the point of it? It reminds me of how when we're spiritually dead, our heart is hard. Even if part our lives are hardened toward You, it's like that part of us is dead. Thank You, though, that You are Life and You give life, and can soften any dead, hardened are of our lives if we allow You to.
- Friday morning I played outside in a few inches of snow with three of our boys who are around 4 and 5 years old. For much of the hour outside, we played with Ariel (my brother's black lab/pit bull mix) and did baseball/softball slides. I had fun practicing those slides. I thought I'd practice because I never know when I'll need that skill. I found out that in the snow is the perfect place to learn and practice those slides.
- Saturday I spent relaxing most of the day and thinking about going to Mexico and the Dominican Republic both possibly in the same year.
- Sunday, during pre-school church, one of the dads came in to get his son and told his son to ask one of the girls if her mom was going to play softball this year. The dad then told his son to ask his teacher (me) if she was going to play softball this year. I automatically said no because I didn't have time for it. Then, on our way to lunch, I thought, "I'm playing softball. Wait...Lord, I'm playing softball this year? Okay, I'm playing softball." I played softball with our church's co-ed team during the summer of 2006, and every winter since then I've thought about whether I'd play that summer or not, and I've prayed about it. This year, I didn't even really think about it, and the Holy Spirit tells me I'm playing softball. So, I've begun spring training since I don't like to run much.
- Monday and Tuesday were "normal" days, and I was excited about going to choir practice on Wednesday.
- Wednesday (yesterday) I went to choir practice at church before youth group. Oh, how I've missed being in choir. I'm glad it's time for me to jump in again. And by jumping in I mean I'm singing with the choir on Sunday during service. I just heard the song for the first time, sang it once in practice, and am learning it on my own this weekend. I'm thankful for the basic music stuff I've been taught, for the many years in school choirs, for a wonderful church choir, and for an amazing choir director/pastor/softball teammate/friend/big brother/another dad/etc.
*Jump* *Cannonball* *Splash!*
Thanks for sharing, Rachael. That's so cool.
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